five ways to regulate your nervous system
~ for various times and places ~
If you've experienced trauma in your life then it's likely the following scenario will be familiar to you:
You’re triggered. Your body is pulsing with anxiety, disgust, rage, fear, shame. Your mind is racing, looping around words said or unsaid, the tone of their voice, their facial expressions. You can't shake this feeling. So what do you do? Maybe this leads to a panic attack, the need to exit the situation so that you can cry in the stairwell, or maybe it comes out through a verbal lashing and angry outburst. These are all understandable reactions to the fight-or-flight response that has been triggered in your body. And, there are other options for you to re-regulate your nervous system and regain your ability to respond appropriately to the moment at hand. Below are various options depending upon your situation at the time. You're going to have more freedom if you're working from home and can take a long break vs. being in the middle of a meeting with others, at a party, etc. It's good to have multiple tools in your toolbox so that you can choose the appropriate one for any given situation.
If you are in the presence of others and have minimal time:
Count colors in your environment. Look around the room and internally name the different colors you can see. This will draw you back into the present moment.
Practice 3 rounds of extended exhale breathing. This will send a message to your autonomic nervous system that it is safe to relax (it’s scientifically proven!). To do this, on your next breath in, breathe in for 4 counts, hold it for 4 counts, exhale (slowly) for 8 counts, and then hold your breath out for 4 counts. Repeat two more times.
If you have some space, privacy, and a few-to-several minutes:Move your body. If you just have 5 minutes, put on a high energy song and dance it out. Really let your body go through the motions it needs to. If you have more time, you could take a walk, go on a quick run, take a bike ride - whatever you enjoy. Physical activity is one of the best ways for our body to complete the stress cycle, i.e. regain a felt sense of safety.
Grab your headphones and a notebook. Put on binaural music and journal as unfiltered as possible about what you just experienced. The bilateral stimulation of binaural music (sounds travel back and forth between ear pieces) helps to calm anxiety and regulate your nervous system, while unfiltered journaling lets you release and validate your in the moment experience. I find this particularly helpful for anger and rage. Here’s an album I often listen to.
If you have an hour:Hit the hard reset button and take a shower. While you’re showering, pay attention to the way the water feels on your skin, the smell of your soap and shampoo, the sounds of the shower - tap in to your senses. When we’re triggered we’re usually caught up in a story about what happened, and stuck in fight-or-flight mode. Connecting with your senses can help signal safety to your body and get you to be more grounded and connected to the present moment. Bonus points: end your shower with cold water :)
It’s important to learn how to bring your body back into regulation so that you’re not at the whim of your triggers and constantly being thrown off balance by things that you can’t control. I think that this gets easier with time, practice, and care. Therapy can be a great place to experience regulation with a trusted other and to brainstorm soothing strategies that are specific to your needs. Contact me here to learn more.